You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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