she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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