dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
