so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
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