just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
