Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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