I am in a vortex of obligation.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
