how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
