Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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