Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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