Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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