I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
