I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
