She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
