morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize