Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
