Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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