I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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