I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Randomize
