ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
