i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Randomize
