Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
