i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
