Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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