It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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