I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
