Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
