omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
