she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
