okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
