Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize