Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
We just shotgunned beers for America
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
i need some magic done to my vagina
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
