No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
