I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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