Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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