Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize