he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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