I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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