My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
