careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
