just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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