It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
i think my cat just said my name.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
