The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
