he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
