actually, I'm a sock model
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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