Ketchup is God's man juice
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
