would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Randomize
