Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
