I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
