i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
