He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
