You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
