so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
