do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
