But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
