are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
