Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Randomize
