My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
okay pat passed out under dana's car
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Randomize
