You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
