i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
