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Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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