that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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