Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Randomize